Issue #71
At the beginning of the three-day weekend, I decided to do a mini-social media detox.
I generally find value in social media. It’s how I connect with my friends and community, learn about new ideas and movements, and make my living. Through years of tweeting, Instagramming, blogging and newslettering, I’ve widened my circle and enriched my life in countless ways.
But there can be too much of a good thing, and logging on isn’t always the healthiest choice. Not exactly groundbreaking news, but it feels freshly relevant. The pandemic, and the fact that so much more of my life is now virtual, has made this clearer than ever.
A few weeks ago, , and for the last 45 days, I have not missed a single morning. At first I used guided meditations, but now I set a timer and sit in silence. I'm still terrible at it, but there are times - sometimes a whole minute! - in which my mind feels clean and empty, and my breath comes into focus, and nothing exists outside the present moment. It never lasts long, but it’s like runner’s high - rare, elusive, and worth chasing.
The other morning, while I waited for the dog to do his business and before I meditated, I opened Twitter and read the usual flood of fresh horrors on my fresh horrors device. I only scanned for a few minutes, but that was all it took. When I sat down to meditate, spine straight and legs crossed, I could not focus for even a second. My mind felt pulled in a million directions, my stress level soared, and anxious energy slipped and settled in. By the time the bell chimed, signaling that my twelve minutes were up, I felt as if I’d barely blinked.
Like most people, I often look at social media when I need a quick break, and then return to whatever else I was doing - writing, working, having a conversation with my husband, reading a book. But there was something about going straight from Twitter to meditation that showed me, starkly and undeniably, its effect on my mind. In that moment, there was nothing I could do about what I'd just read, no action I could take or issue I could fix, but I gave the reins away anyway.
I like social media, but only when I’m in control of my relationship to it. When I open my apps on purpose, and not because I’m caught in an endless scroll. I don’t want to use social media because I’m worried about what I’ll miss, but because I’m excited about what I might gain. These last few days have been a good experiment, a great break. I don't feel like I'm missing anything at all. 💛
Snack of the Week
Back in the Before Times, when I did not view the Whole Foods salad bar as a virus vector, I fell in love with their garlicky kale salad. Yesterday, for our tiny Fourth of July cookout (literally just me and my husband, but it was lovely!) I made a copycat version I discovered a few years ago. The secret ingredient is tahini, which cannot be left out or substituted. Make this raw, vegan, gluten-free, and super fresh salad ASAP - it's worth celebrating.
Relatable Reads
My friend Ben once told me he purposely writes stories set during major holidays so that every year he has an excuse to re-share them. In his honor, here's my Fourth of July story, which Joyland published back in 2017, to help you celebrate this weekend. Warning: it's a bit racy! 🎆
Where Did My Ambition Go? Medium. "Where does ambition go when jobs disappear and the things you’ve been striving for barely even exist anymore? And what if the things for which you’ve been striving no longer feel important because they’re the spoils of a rotten system that needs a complete overhaul?" Damn, y'all. Also, the last paragraph of this essay extremely relatable. 😲
How Photographing a Dumb Paper Bag Led to Writing a Novel, LitHub. "No one wants to photograph a brown paper bag for eight weeks, let alone the same brown paper bag just like no writer wants to write their draft over and over." 📷
How to Salvage a Disastrous Day in Your COVID-19 Quarantine, The Chronicle of Higher Education. "For scholars and other high-achieving professionals, performance is an important part of our identities. We are used to tackling hard challenges, and we thrive on achievement and excellence. But that approach will not help you fix a hot mess of a day. This sort of day needs a different perspective." ☀️
A Tiny Challenge
How often do you log on to social media? Does it ever cause more harm than good? How do you balance the need to stay connected without drowning in anxiety? This week, take a break, even if it's just for an afternoon, and see how it feels. I liked this experiment so much that I might just make it a monthly tradition.
See you in two weeks! 💌
Thank you to Carol D. for the generous donation!
I would have Instagrammed my coffee, but we were on a break.
✨⭐️💫
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