The right tool for the job 🔕
Issue #77
As a general rule, I don’t believe in fate or destiny or an invisible hand guiding us along some predetermined path. Life, in my opinion, is a series of accidents, and maybe that sounds depressing, but I think it’s actually quite freeing. You don’t deserve anything that happens to you - not the bad, and not the good, either. Nothing is written in stone, which means we have an opportunity to change what doesn’t serve us.
Occasionally, however, you may experience surreal coincidences that can’t be explained. If something keeps popping up, it's a good idea to pay attention.
This happened to me recently, after I mailed my friend in Texas a card for her 40th birthday. A few weeks later I received a letter in return, which included a book recommendation - Digital Minimalism, by Cal Newport.
What made this moment so surreal was that earlier that morning, before her letter arrived, I looked up that exact book on my library’s website and wrote down the call number so I could check it out.
Coincidence? Fate? Or simply proof that we tend to choose friends who share our interests - in this case, a desire to rethink our relationships with technology, and a yearning to live a less-connected life?
Needless to say, I went to the library, checked out the book, and started reading immediately. I don’t believe in destiny, but I also don’t believe in pushing my luck.
I’m only half way through the book but I’ve already taken some solid lessons from it. The biggest is the idea that technology is neither good nor bad. It's simply a tool, and we need to be very careful in making sure it's the right one for the job we've given it.
For example: a few years ago, I got the majority of my news from Twitter. I dutifully followed journalists and their publications, visiting the site at least 50 times a day in an effort to keep up (I wish I was exaggerating). I was reading a ton of news, yes, but I was also inundated with hot takes, misinformation, bad opinions, and countless identical jokes that were not actually that funny. Eventually I realized that Twitter was not aiding me in my goal to be an informed citizen who make a positive difference in her community. If anything, it hindered me - endless doomscrolling felt like taking action, but it didn't actually help or change anything.
These days, my Twitter experience looks much different. I've winnowed the accounts I follow to close friends, some acquaintances, and various literary folks. When I want to read the news, I head to the New York Times and NPR, neither of which are perfect, but they’re a step in the right direction. I also try to limit my time on those sites, generally visiting in the morning and then getting on with my day. Sometimes a big story breaks, and I don’t see it for a few hours. When RBG died, my phone was in another room and I didn't learn about her passing for nearly two hours. When I finally saw the slew of text messages and headlines, I grieved for a hundred reasons, the least of which was because I was "late" to the news.
99% of the time, learning something terrible has happened as it is unfolds hardly ever helps. Technology makes everything feel immediate, but it's okay to take a moment. To sit and grieve by yourself, to form an opinion before tweeting it, to keep an email or a newsletter unopened until you're ready to read it.
Everything that is important right now will still be important later. And if it won't be, then maybe it isn't. 💛
Snack of the Week
This time of year, pumpkin gets all the glory. I used to rail against this, as pumpkin is not my favorite fall flavor, but in my old age I've learned to care less about what others like. This will not, however, keep me from celebrating of my favorite autumnal treat: delicata squash. I love it because the peel is edible, which makes it infinitely easier to prepare than other squashes. It also roasts in just until 20 minutes, making it a quick and easy side dish on these shorter, darker days.
Relatable Reads
'Get Organized with the Home Edit' is Informercial Reality Television, The New Yorker. I love organizing so I assumed I would love this show. Spoiler alert: I hated it! This piece articulates why, exactly, I found it so dull. (And I'm a person who cried during every episode of Tidying Up!!!) 🌈
Bury Me in a dELiA*s Catalog From 1997, VICE. "If you remember reaching past your mother's Redbook and empty Publisher's Clearing House promises to pull the latest dELiA*s catalog out of the mailbox, I hope you're using a good nighttime moisturizer." I lived for the Delia's catalog and loved every sentence of this article. 👗
How to Deal With a Friendship ‘Quiet Season’, New York Times. I've been thinking a lot about friendships, and how much I miss my casual ones - the people who added richness to my life by proximately, but who I haven't really seen or spoken to since social distancing began. This article had some good tips for preserving fragile friendships and reaching out. 💔
Last week I started text banking with Greenpeace, and it was SUCH a good experience. Sure, plenty of people opted out, or replied "TRUMP 2020", or called me unkind names, but other folks were supportive and I even had a few decent conversations. It's super easy and (at least in my experience) felt more productive than phone banking. Learn more and sign up here. 🌎
A Tiny Challenge
Take a good long look at the various technologies that have a place in your life, and ask yourself: what is the cost, what is the worth, and is there a better way?
See you in two weeks! 💌
Thanks to Nykki Y. and Cassie P. for keeping the coffee flowing!
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