Life is hard. Love makes it easier 🌷
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Today my husband and I are celebrating seven years of marriage. Except we got married on our ten year anniversary, so really we're celebrating seventeen years together. (Listen, I’m not going to discount a whole decade just because we hadn’t yet signed an official government document!)
For many years, despite being in a committed, long term relationship, I insisted I would never get married. Possibly this is because Nathan and I began dating when I was just 20 years old, and 20 year olds have no business legally binding their life to someone else's. When you’re 20, you’re still figuring out who you are. This is true at every age, of course. We're constantly changing and growing, trying new things, becoming new people. The difference is that when I was younger, change often felt like a threat or a betrayal, like I was being left behind or breaking a promise. It was a lot to handle, and I couldn't imagine adding the pressure of marriage to those years.
At 30, something shifted. I began to see change not as something to fear, but something to celebrate. As it turned out, my relationship hadn’t limited me at all - quite the opposite. We had supported each other through a decade of growth, pushed each other forward, helped each other become truer versions of ourselves. We were better because we were together, which seemed like a pretty good reason to get married.
I'm not afraid of commitment, and my husband is not afraid of work. You can see these traits in how we spend our free time. I love reading big novels, watching television shows with many seasons, training for half marathons, spending five years on a single draft. He loves to do everything the hard way. Where others see struggle, he sees potential, and he's eager to put in the time and work to make something better and stronger and more beautiful. These are a few of the reasons (besides love) that our relationship has worked so well for so long.
This is not to say we don't drive each other crazy or that we never argue. But there is comfort in even our worst fights, the knowledge that no matter how much we bicker, or how many “projects” he rescues from the trash, or how bossy I am about the budget, our partnership is a given. Life can be hard, but love makes it easier. Happy anniversary, Nathan. Thanks for sticking with me. 💛
✨ Snack of the Week ✨
My favorite holiday is, hands down, Thanksgiving. You don't have to buy anyone presents, or stay up until midnight, or come up with a clever costume. Your only duty is to hang out at home, cook an elaborate meal, and eat it while feeling grateful for all you have. Right now I'm grateful for my friends Kevina and Greg, who always host a huge Friendsiving in their backyard, which I attended yesterday. The more we can celebrate and eat, the better!
Wait a Minute. How Can They Afford That When I Can't? New York Times. "No doubt, most people could improve how they handle their finances. But better money management isn’t usually the culprit: When people seem to be able to afford much more than their income would suggest, it’s often because there is hidden wealth or hidden debt." A good reminder that we rarely see the whole picture. 💰
SMART Goals Are Not So Smart: Make a PACT Instead, Ness Labs. "While a SMART goal focuses on the outcome, the PACT approach focuses on the output. It’s about continuous growth rather than the pursuit of a well-defined achievement." I love goals, and this method for setting them is genius - especially if you have creative ones. 📈
I Joined a Stationary Bike Gang, The Atlantic. By the number of ads I see in my social media feed, the algorithm appears to be CONVINCED I am the target market for a Peloton. After reading this article, I think... maybe... I am??? 🚴♂️
A Tiny Challenge
I spend a lot of time thinking about goals and ambition and the next step. This week, let's take a second to look at what we have - love, friendship, a delicious plate of celebratory carbs - and allow ourselves to feel grateful and satisfied.
See you next Sunday! 💌
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