Where do you see yourself in twelve months? ⏳
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I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions. Instead, I set goals. This might seem like a matter of semantics, but there’s actually an important difference. Resolutions tend to be things we want to change about ourselves because we think we're lacking or wrong in some way. Goals, at least in my universe, are things we want to add to our lives, challenges or milestones that will enrich our experience of the world, paths to becoming better versions of the people we already are.
Last year, I decided to get more granular with my goals and focus them on four areas of my life - Creative, Emotional, Physical, and Financial - which represented my priorities at the time. I thought about the current state of my life in those areas, how I wanted to grow in each one, and where I might like to see myself in a year's time.
As 2019 marched on, I referred to my list often, adjusting as my list as goals evolved or priorities shifted. For example, I did not know, at the beginning of the year, that I would buy a house over the summer. “Pay off our two smallest student loans” quickly transformed into “Save up a down payment for a house.” (Also, the fact that those two numbers are interchangeable says a lot about the world we currently live in. Warren 2020!) Overall, this was a great way to stay focused, honor the different parts of my life, and find a little of that elusive balance people are always talking about.
In 2020 I'll be sticking with these four areas, and I’m spending the next week thinking long and hard about how I want to grow or evolve in each one. Here's my ~vision~ so far:
Creative: Last year, I focused on finishing big things - the draft of the novel I’d been working on for five years, the short story collection I’d been amassing for ten. In 2020, I’m excited for new beginnings. A new novel, one that speaks to current-me and not past-me. A new writing group. More freelance, and an opportunity to work with new editors and publications. Continuing to grow this newsletter, which was by far the best addition to my creative life in 2019.
Emotional: This year, there will be some big changes happening in my household. My husband and I will be entering what I shall charmingly refer to as a “medium distance relationship.” He’s starting PA school at a university three hours away, and we’ll only see each other on the weekends. My emotional goals are to make time for our relationship, even when we’re not around each other, to spend more time with my friends so I don't turn into a complete hermit, and to volunteer for all the Democrats in the upcoming election.
Physical: I usually set running goals - new personal records, or a sub-two hour half marathon. Last summer I sprained my ankle pretty seriously and six months later, I still can’t run. This year, I want to start running again, but until then I also want to get stronger and lift heavier weights. One benefit of not being able to run means I've spent more time at the gym doing other things, like spin and TRX and the weight machines. It's been a silver lining for sure, but I don't really know how to set goals and track progress around those things. I'd like to figure it out.
Financial: This one goes along with my emotional goals. A husband in grad school means we're going to be pretty broke for the next two years! In 2020, I want to stay out of credit card debt, minimize student loan debt, and successfully live on one income (IE, mine). I've crunched the numbers thanks to YNAB and it's do-able, but it will be tough. I think we're up to the challenge.
I’ll share more of my goals in January, when I have them finalized. In the meantime, I’d love to hear some of yours. If you didn’t last week, hit reply and let me know what you’re planning to achieve in the New Year!
🌵 Plant of the Week 🌵
Last week, my team at work had a Favorite Things party. Each person brought three identical items they love between $10 and $15, elevator speeches were given about why each favorite was the best (hey, we work in marketing), numbers were drawn, and everyone took turns choosing what they wanted to take home. Among my prizes was this little cactus in a handpainted pot, compliments of my lovely cubemate, and it's my new favorite for sure.
Relatable Reads
Do You Have a Moment to Talk About Menstrual Cups? The Cut. Y'ALL. Anyone who knows me IRL can attest to the fact that my menstrual cup is actually my favorite thing and I'll take any opportunity to evangelize it. If one of your 2020 goals is to be more eco-friendly and/or save money, the cup is the way to go. If you have questions, ask me! I've had mine for 5 years and I'm never going back. 🎈
You Should Start Practicing New Year's Resolutions Now, New York Times. "No marathon runner ever steps up to the start line in a big race without putting in the training miles. He or she has been practicing for months, if not years. You should do the same with your New Year’s resolutions. It will make it much easier to stick to them." 📅
Scrunchies are Cool Again. Hair's How They Staged a Comeback, NPR. Not gonna lie - scrunchies were on my Christmas list. 🎀
Alienated, Alone and Angry: What the Digital Revolution Really Did To Us, Buzzfeed. "The truth is we don’t have the right language yet to talk about an entirely new constellation of alarming and negative interactions, from threats to dogpiles to friend requests that go unanswered for a bit too long to yes, sorry, cancellations. They’re both more and less serious than we can manage to express with words, and the gap between that and what they feel like is an alienation." WOW this is so good and so sad. 🖥
A Tiny Challenge
The holidays can be pretty challenging as it is, so let's not add anything else to our plates this week. Relax if you can, enjoy what you can, and celebrate however you want.
See you next Sunday! 💌
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