I really felt this in my whole body. I’m so sorry for your loss. We lost our boy a month ago as well (fifteen and a half, so we also had a lot of time with him, though it never is enough) and I feel this same way. Especially the part about grieving and then also worrying and grieving about it getting easier and what that means. I hate to feel like he’s getting further away as time goes by, even though we’ve still kept all his stuff out and still smell his collar and cuddle his toys (is that crazy??)
Everything feels awful and I wonder a lot when I’ll stop crying. He has always been my whole world and adjusting to life and routines without him has been so weird. I felt it when you said about looking for him in certain spots or still adjusting my body in the bed to accommodate him.
They are the very best thing in the whole world and if the world was fair they’d be healthy forever. Thank you for sharing this. You so perfectly put into words everything I’ve been feeling and I hope it gets easier for us soon. We are so lucky to have something to grieve. 🖤
Feeling for you - my best friend died a little over a year ago, and accepting the reality that I will forget them (parts of them, anyway) has been one of the hardest things. I’d like a copy of your zine, are you still taking orders or maybe working on another that will be released soon?
I'm sorry for your loss - I hope you can hold on to the best memories. 🩵
I do have copies of my zine left - you can Venmo me $7 - I'm @Christine-Hennessey. Just include your address (my Venmo is private) or email it to me if you prefer.
I've been putting off reading this because I knew it would make me cry, (it did) but I wanted to say how much I appreciate this lovely piece. The pain of losing a beloved pet is so hard to bear and hard to put into words.
I was also blown away by the lovely comments. In a world where we are constantly bombarded with news about how awful people are, it feels comforting to know there are so many good, empathic folk out there.
It means so much that you came back to read this when you were ready! I totally get it. And yes, the comments on this piece were so wonderful and absolutely helped to bring me some closure. There is a whole lot of love out there if you can stay open to it. 💛
I'm so sorry Chrissy. I had to say goodbye to my sweet old husky on October 9 and it too was the saddest day of my life. Knowing it's the best thing to do for them doesn't take away the pain in processing it all afterwards. This whole month has truly been the saddest of my life but I keep finding his hair everywhere three weeks later and think of all the funny things he did and that brings a lot of warmth back into my body. They are just the absolute best and they make us the luckiest humans while they're with us. Sending a lot of love and spaciousness to you and your home as you grieve and heal the hole left behind.
Thanks so much for sharing, Stephanie. We're almost two months out and it is getting easier. I can talk about him and laugh at his memories without feeling like my heart is breaking. I hope we both keep feeling their warmth, even though they're gone.
Chrissy, what a beautiful, touching piece. It resonated so deeply—we lost our beloved best friend almost a decade ago now, in a very similar situation. It was unexpected and heartbreaking, I’d never known pain like it at the time. It still hurts. Dogs are just the best, aren’t they? They have such a profound impact on our lives. Like you, we were all with her at the end, and I’ll be forever grateful for that (actually, I’d never realised just how important that was until now, so thank you). I’m so sorry for your loss, sending you big virtual hugs!
“Grief is a hole, but love is a ladder. Every day, we remember our best boy. Every day, we reach for another rung.” -This is so beautiful. I cried reading this article and your love for your dog came through with every word you wrote. Putting my 15 year old dog down a little over a year and a half ago (because she was in pain) was one of the most painful decisions and worst days of my life. My kids immediately began begging for a new puppy, but I wasn’t ready. Five months later, I finally relented. And while there is no replacement for the dog I had to let go of, this new dog brings us all so much joy and helps fill my hole of grief. Dogs are such a gift to humans. They expand our hearts and make us better people. My heart goes out to you and your grief. Sending love your way to hopefully help you grab into another rung.
Priscilla, I'm so glad you were able to welcome another dog into your life. I'm not ready yet either, but I think that's one of the best ways to honor the pups we lose. We love them so much we can't bear to live without a dog in our life.
I shed so many tears reading this, especially the line about Calvin's corn chip scent: MY DOG SMELLS LIKE CORN CHIPS, TOO. We call her "Frito girl." She's 11 now, and the idea of that scent being gone someday? Unthinkable.
Thinking of you so much as you cope with this loss, dear friend. Keep climbing that ladder of love, and if it gets hard, let those rungs hold you upright. 💛
I started reading this while waiting for someone to join a Zoom meeting and whewie what a mistake. I feel this so entirely. I'm thinking of you and holding you in my heart. Calvin joins an army of old friends holding court for us.
<<<Chrissy>>> I am in tears, sharing your grief from beloved darlings I have lost and heartbreak for the inevitable goodbyes to come. There is no agony that can compare. You held Calvin to the very end and saw him through to the other side, where he is healthy and whole and good big strong boy once again. I'm so sorry. I hold your broken heart with tenderness.
Crying reading along. In 3 days it will be 3 years since I held my 13 year old girl, Skye as she passed. Sadly, in the vet’s office, but it broke me. I had never felt such loss. Last year we lost my beagle boy too - this time I wasn’t there as he was under sedation with the vet & they called to get permission to let him go. I still cry when I go to bed, wishing they were still here. We have another beagle now, so she keeps me busy. We don’t have them for long enough and we’re never ready. 💔😢
I'm so sorry, Chrissy. Losing pets is just the most heartbreaking loss because they are such a special part of our lives. Sending you lots of love and healing.
You gave him an incredible life and an easy, loving passage. That's all we can hope for. We're still mourning our furry best friend who we lost in December after 12 years together. I was with her and like you, I'm so grateful for that.
I really felt this in my whole body. I’m so sorry for your loss. We lost our boy a month ago as well (fifteen and a half, so we also had a lot of time with him, though it never is enough) and I feel this same way. Especially the part about grieving and then also worrying and grieving about it getting easier and what that means. I hate to feel like he’s getting further away as time goes by, even though we’ve still kept all his stuff out and still smell his collar and cuddle his toys (is that crazy??)
Everything feels awful and I wonder a lot when I’ll stop crying. He has always been my whole world and adjusting to life and routines without him has been so weird. I felt it when you said about looking for him in certain spots or still adjusting my body in the bed to accommodate him.
They are the very best thing in the whole world and if the world was fair they’d be healthy forever. Thank you for sharing this. You so perfectly put into words everything I’ve been feeling and I hope it gets easier for us soon. We are so lucky to have something to grieve. 🖤
I'm so sorry for you loss 15 years! What a beautiful journey you shared.
I'm glad you could relate to this, but I hate it at the same time. Thinking of you and your pup.
Feeling for you - my best friend died a little over a year ago, and accepting the reality that I will forget them (parts of them, anyway) has been one of the hardest things. I’d like a copy of your zine, are you still taking orders or maybe working on another that will be released soon?
I'm sorry for your loss - I hope you can hold on to the best memories. 🩵
I do have copies of my zine left - you can Venmo me $7 - I'm @Christine-Hennessey. Just include your address (my Venmo is private) or email it to me if you prefer.
I've been putting off reading this because I knew it would make me cry, (it did) but I wanted to say how much I appreciate this lovely piece. The pain of losing a beloved pet is so hard to bear and hard to put into words.
I was also blown away by the lovely comments. In a world where we are constantly bombarded with news about how awful people are, it feels comforting to know there are so many good, empathic folk out there.
It means so much that you came back to read this when you were ready! I totally get it. And yes, the comments on this piece were so wonderful and absolutely helped to bring me some closure. There is a whole lot of love out there if you can stay open to it. 💛
Yes! 💕
I'm so sorry Chrissy. I had to say goodbye to my sweet old husky on October 9 and it too was the saddest day of my life. Knowing it's the best thing to do for them doesn't take away the pain in processing it all afterwards. This whole month has truly been the saddest of my life but I keep finding his hair everywhere three weeks later and think of all the funny things he did and that brings a lot of warmth back into my body. They are just the absolute best and they make us the luckiest humans while they're with us. Sending a lot of love and spaciousness to you and your home as you grieve and heal the hole left behind.
Thanks so much for sharing, Stephanie. We're almost two months out and it is getting easier. I can talk about him and laugh at his memories without feeling like my heart is breaking. I hope we both keep feeling their warmth, even though they're gone.
Chrissy, what a beautiful, touching piece. It resonated so deeply—we lost our beloved best friend almost a decade ago now, in a very similar situation. It was unexpected and heartbreaking, I’d never known pain like it at the time. It still hurts. Dogs are just the best, aren’t they? They have such a profound impact on our lives. Like you, we were all with her at the end, and I’ll be forever grateful for that (actually, I’d never realised just how important that was until now, so thank you). I’m so sorry for your loss, sending you big virtual hugs!
Thanks so much for this comment, and I'm sorry for your loss. There is really nothing like a beloved dog.
“Grief is a hole, but love is a ladder. Every day, we remember our best boy. Every day, we reach for another rung.” -This is so beautiful. I cried reading this article and your love for your dog came through with every word you wrote. Putting my 15 year old dog down a little over a year and a half ago (because she was in pain) was one of the most painful decisions and worst days of my life. My kids immediately began begging for a new puppy, but I wasn’t ready. Five months later, I finally relented. And while there is no replacement for the dog I had to let go of, this new dog brings us all so much joy and helps fill my hole of grief. Dogs are such a gift to humans. They expand our hearts and make us better people. My heart goes out to you and your grief. Sending love your way to hopefully help you grab into another rung.
Priscilla, I'm so glad you were able to welcome another dog into your life. I'm not ready yet either, but I think that's one of the best ways to honor the pups we lose. We love them so much we can't bear to live without a dog in our life.
I shed so many tears reading this, especially the line about Calvin's corn chip scent: MY DOG SMELLS LIKE CORN CHIPS, TOO. We call her "Frito girl." She's 11 now, and the idea of that scent being gone someday? Unthinkable.
Thinking of you so much as you cope with this loss, dear friend. Keep climbing that ladder of love, and if it gets hard, let those rungs hold you upright. 💛
The corn chip scent is truly the best!!! Thanks for this sweet comment and give your Frito girl a big hug for me.
I started reading this while waiting for someone to join a Zoom meeting and whewie what a mistake. I feel this so entirely. I'm thinking of you and holding you in my heart. Calvin joins an army of old friends holding court for us.
I'm picturing that army and laughing. What a glorious mess it would be. 💛
I’m so sorry for your loss, thank you for writing this story. It was beautiful 💕
Thank you for sharing so beautifully about Calvin, for the moments of reading and sharing your lives together with us. A grief like no other.
Thank you for reading it!
<<<Chrissy>>> I am in tears, sharing your grief from beloved darlings I have lost and heartbreak for the inevitable goodbyes to come. There is no agony that can compare. You held Calvin to the very end and saw him through to the other side, where he is healthy and whole and good big strong boy once again. I'm so sorry. I hold your broken heart with tenderness.
Thank you so much, Julie. I teared up again reading your comment. 💛
Crying reading along. In 3 days it will be 3 years since I held my 13 year old girl, Skye as she passed. Sadly, in the vet’s office, but it broke me. I had never felt such loss. Last year we lost my beagle boy too - this time I wasn’t there as he was under sedation with the vet & they called to get permission to let him go. I still cry when I go to bed, wishing they were still here. We have another beagle now, so she keeps me busy. We don’t have them for long enough and we’re never ready. 💔😢
"We're never ready" - that is so heartbreakingly true. And yet we keep falling in love with them, because it's still worth it. 💛
Absolutely. I can’t imagine my life and our home without pets. ❤️
I'm so sorry, Chrissy. Losing pets is just the most heartbreaking loss because they are such a special part of our lives. Sending you lots of love and healing.
Thank you for sharing your wonderful Calvin and your broken heart with us. I’m too close to what you’ve been through and your grief to say more.
I understand. Sending you lots of love.
You gave him an incredible life and an easy, loving passage. That's all we can hope for. We're still mourning our furry best friend who we lost in December after 12 years together. I was with her and like you, I'm so grateful for that.
Those last moments are awful, but I'm so glad our pups didn't have to face them alone.
Exactly.
💜💜An amazing tribute to a well loved dog. So sorry for your big loss. Sending hugs.