Reaching before you're ready
What remains when you remove the crux?
Welcome to So Relatable, a bi-weekly newsletter that helps creative folks improve their craft, achieve their goals, and eat better snacks. I’m glad you’re here! ✨
We’re currently going through the annual goal-setting process at work, which is not quite as fun as my Girls with Goals club. (My personal quest to climb a V3 is slightly more exciting than setting KPI targets.) The exercise, however, spurred me to reconsider my plans for this year.
When I was mapping my creative goals for 2024, I automatically wrote “Write the first draft of a new novel.” Publishing a book is my lifelong dream, the crux of my artistic ambitions; as such, achieving some stage of the novel writing process always appears on my list. While I can’t control whether someone publishes my novel (trust me, I’ve tried), I can keep churning them out, fingers crossed, hoping this new project will be the one that makes my dream come true.
You might think setting the same goal year after year is a sign of perseverance. That hard work eventually pays off. That keeping my gaze fixed on one specific objective is the only way to achieve it. For a long time, that’s what I thought, too. But now I’m beginning to wonder if my unwavering commitment is actually getting in the way.
There’s only one way to find out. And so, two months into the year, I’m revising my goal. 2024, I’ve decided, is the year I will NOT write or work on a novel. Not an outline, not a shitty first draft, not another revision, not a short story I secretly hope will turn into a brilliant book of roughly 80,000 words.
This epiphany arrived while reading about how to get better at climbing. One strategy to improve your skills is by grade pushing—attempting to climb something beyond your ability. I’ve only recently started embracing this idea, which means that even though I’m getting stronger, I haven’t sent a new route in weeks. I thought this would be demoralizing, but it’s actually kind of exciting. Lower expectations. Less pressure. More fun. At the very least, I’m getting braver about falling and failing—a humbling yet necessary lesson.
Every time I go for a hold and miss (i.e., often), I remember the whole point of a goal is to challenge yourself, to reach for something even if it feels impossible. A goal should have the potential to bring you somewhere new, whether that’s in the gym, in your art, or in your life.
When it comes to my artistic goals, reaching for a novel isn’t new. Doing the same thing again and again won’t change me or challenge me.
But not writing a novel? Removing the main activity around which I’ve built my creative life? Forcing myself to find new forms, embrace other outlets, and reach beyond the familiar? The whole idea scares me a little, and that’s how I know it’s a worthy goal.
Calling All Local Readers!
My good friend Cassidy is running for the New Hanover County Board of Commissioners. I’ve been working hard on her campaign for two reasons: I know she’ll be a GREAT County Commissioner, and this is an ideal way to channel my election anxiety, which will only get worse as November approaches!
If you live in NHC, please come to her launch party on Monday, March 4! It’s free, family-friendly, and will include great snacks and fun activities. You can RSVP here—I hope to see you there! 🚀
Snack Break
Last Saturday I was hanging out in the backyard of some good friends. There I was, brainstorming a business logo, painting watercolor scenes with two of my favorite children, sipping beers, and otherwise enjoying a beautiful, warm February day, when suddenly the next door neighbors popped over to deliver a batch of warm, freshly baked pretzels. Such a delicious and magical surprise! 🥨
Relatable Recommendations
Reading: I just picked up Come and Get It by Kiley Reid. I had mixed feelings about her debut, Such a Fun Age, but it stuck with me. I’m excited to read her new one and see how it compares. I’ll report back!
Clicking: How to avoid a mid-life crisis (I’m not quite there yet—I hope!—but I liked this advice for embracing every age). How to pack for a two-week trip in one small suitcase (carry-on only for life!). How to have a more productive year (I do a version of this, and it helps—personally and professionally).
Growing: According to the Farmer’s Almanac, the final frost for our area is March 26. As such, we planted new things in the garden (peas, beets, carrots), started new seeds in the shed (cucumbers, lettuce, kale) and began hardening off our tomatoes and peppers for transplanting. We started the tomatoes way too early, so fingers crossed that they actually make it into the garden!
Eating: Fruit smoothies after hot yoga. Sourdough bread from Trader Joe’s. Falafel salads for lunch. The last bag of blackberries, which we froze last summer.
Feeling: A lil’ overextended, to be honest. I’m excited to wrap up a few big projects, at home and at work. My next endeavor: better boundaries!
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👋 About Me: I’m Chrissy Hennessey, an enthusiastic snacker and native New Yorker living in coastal North Carolina, where I stayed after earning my MFA. My writing has appeared in a decent number of journals, I’ve received fellowships to some fancy residencies, and I’ve written three novels, all currently unpublished. This newsletter is a passion project I started in 2019 as a way to connect with readers and writers, share my creative journey, and build a community. Thank you for being here!