This is 41 🥂

In honor of my birthday, a literary slice of life right now.

Aug 13, 2023

Welcome to So Relatable, a bi-weekly newsletter that helps creative folks improve their craft, achieve their goals, and eat better snacks. I’m glad you’re here! ✨

As longtime readers know (and new readers are about to find out!) I believe birthdays are the ultimate holiday—especially mine. As someone who appreciates symbolic milestones, lowkey loves to be the center of attention, and enjoys a good party, it doesn’t get much better than a birthday.

This newsletter is mostly about the creative process and art-making, but each year I take a birthday detour and write a literary time capsule that attempts to capture life at this particular moment, in this particular year. Thank you for indulging me, celebrating with me, and being here with me. When it comes to profound gifts, this community is at the top of the list.

This is 41

Forty-one is what I’ve been referring to as a “mid creative-life crisis.” It’s three unpublished books and wondering, for the first time, if selling a novel is in my future. Should I abandon the traditional path to publication? Should I try something else, be a different kind of artist? For so many years (41, in fact!) I’ve been focused on a singular goal, and one strategy to achieve it: write book, sell book, publish book. But maybe this is a narrow way to think about writing, about publishing, about living a creative life. Forty-one is figuring out what the alternatives might look like. It’s being okay with failure and brave enough to try something new. Dreams don’t have to die; they can also evolve. Forty-one is exploring what that evolution could look like, if I let it.

Forty-one is being intentional about my relationships. Once, mere proximity could create lifelong bonds; now, it’s much harder to find the time, to get together, to keep up. Forty-one is long drives to spend weekends with friends, to creating and joining clubs so there’s always something on the books, to prioritizing celebrations because life is hard and we deserve to have fun. Forty-one is a white-faced dog who just turned thirteen, two sweet and funny nephews, and friends between the ages of 9 and 57. Forty-one is child-free by choice, and feeling better than ever about that decision.

Forty-one is two decent incomes for the first time, and getting used to the idea of having enough. It’s loosening the budget and allotting more to things like travel and hobbies. Forty-one is spending a lot of time thinking about our retirement accounts, mostly because we’re way behind, but also because part of me wonders if climate change will make retirement a moot point. Will the world burn before I can cash out? There’s no way to know, so we keep saving.

Forty-one is 11 years of marriage and two decades of partnership. It’s remarking, often and out loud, on what a nice little life we’ve built. Forty-one is tomatoes in the garden, beers at the beach, and knowing you’ll always fix my flat bike tire.

Forty-one is delighting in my body and everything it allows me to do. It’s getting back into rock climbing, taking my first surf lessons, and a weekly run club. It’s fitness mostly for my mental health—the best cure for anxiety is a good sweat. Forty-one is yoga on the pier, plenty of SPF 50, and just enough vanity to keep me a regular at the YMCA, because I’d rather lift weights than get Botox. (For now, anyway.).

Forty-one is growing vegetables from seeds and meticulously maintaining my Duolingo streak. It’s serving my community by joining the library board, working as an election judge, and contributing to the Northside Food Coop. It’s middle management, colleagues who’ve become real friends, and scrolling LinkedIn instead of TikTok, the surest sign of aging there is. Forty-one is library books, Trader Joe’s, too many goals, too many houseplants, and love everywhere I look.

Like every one before it, forty-one is the best birthday yet. Cheers to another year.

PS: This was 40, and 39, and 38, and 37.

Snack Party!

My other favorite annual tradition (besides this newsletter) is throwing myself a birthday party. This year, the theme was “snacks,” because my brand is strong. To keep things organized, I separated my kitchen table into sections—the Charcuterie Corner, Appetizer Alley, the Chips & Dips District, and the Dessert Zone. Yes, there was signage. This photo was taken before the party started, and my only regret is that I didn’t get a shot of the table once everyone added their contributions. I’ve never seen (or eaten!) so many snacks! Some standouts included: caprese skewers, mini biscuits with homemade tomato jam, caviar potato chip dip, cheesy potato wedges, a whole Mediterranean board, brownie bites, and about 20 other things I’m going to be eating for the rest of the week, with absolutely no complaints. My two greatest loves are friends and snacks, and it was an absolute joy to celebrate another year with plenty of both. 🍉🧀🍅🥟🍪

Relatable Recommendations

Reading: My current favorite newsletter is
The Lunar Dispatch
—it’s published once a month, on the full moon, and it’s always a beautiful, weird, fascinating meditation on different celestial-inspired themes. Less like an essay, more like poetry. Recommended to all Earthlings.
Watching: We needed a break from Star Trek, and just finished Hijack, which is a perfect summer series. I’m really glad I don’t have any international flights coming up!
Growing: Cherry tomatoes, bell peppers, cucamelons, and poblanos. I started all these plants from seed back in January, and they’re only just now producing. An excellent lesson in patience and timing!
Eating: All the leftover snacks.
Feeling: Grateful for another year on this planet, for friends and family near and far, for the time I’ve had, for the time I have left. And, of course, for you.

Coffee Club Contributions

Thanks to Carol D. for the early birthday present!

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👋 About Me: I’m Chrissy Hennessey, an enthusiastic snacker and native New Yorker living in coastal North Carolina, where I stayed after earning my MFA in 2014. My writing has appeared in a decent number of journals, I’ve received fellowships to some fancy residencies, and I’ve written three novels, all currently unpublished! This newsletter is a passion project I started in 2019 as a way to connect with readers and writers, share my creative journey, and build a community. Thank you for being here!